As I write this, we are full into “The Holidays.” Thanksgiving is over, and it’s full rush to Christmas /Hanukkah / Kwanzaa / Solstice / Yule / Festivus - or whatever each culture or subculture comes up to fill our archetypal need for “Do Something Festive” as the cold of Winter approaches, and we “finish off” another year. Then we watch football.
A number of my clients force a promise from me that I’ll not leave town during this time, because it often marks a time of increased depression and despair -- because
Holidays often mean families, and
Families often mean dysfunction, and
Dysfunction often means psychic pain (aka severe depression).
Plus, when you’re depressed, and the Big Rule is that everybody’s supposed to be happy, then you add isolation and alienation to the formula and you’re really depressed!
Even the rest of us begin to weary. There’s so much to do, with so little time, and too little money, and too little patience. And when it’s all over, some of us don’t even care that much for football! It does provide however some respite from the incoming credit card bills, and the necessity of preparing taxes. Yes, last year is over, now we have to pay for it. Happy New Year!
But you know from the title here, that I have something else in mind. When “Big” no longer works, then how about looking to “small.”
When it comes to the deeper ‘meaning’ of things, when it comes to places of contentment and happiness, when it comes to real “Life” - it seems “small” is usually where it’s at.
Big can be wonderful, and spectacular. I’ll often choose to see a movie on a “big screen” at my local cineplex rather than on my ‘small’ living room TV.
But when Big stops working, I look to small.
I’ll suggest to my clients, that when the Holidays depress them, look for something in the ‘small’ places. That’s where the good stuff is. That’s where the corrupters fail to notice, and leave goodness alone to continue being goodness.
The original Christmas itself happened in a “small place” - in an out-of-the-way little town, in the back shed of a full hotel, by a small couple many days away from home, in the middle of the night. Very few even noticed, just some shepherds. The whole story began a long time earlier with an isolated childless couple, Abraham and Sarah tucked away in the land of Ur. God has always seemed to choose to act in the small places, as if on purpose, far from any “Big” notice.
My daughter Heather and I have just returned from a Leonard Cohen concert in Detroit. One of my favorite lines from that earthy mysticism of his creative intellect is from the refrain of his song “Anthem” - ‘There’s a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.’
The light comes in through small cracks.
It’s as if what we’re really looking for isn’t even here, rather it’s behind the scenes somewhere, on the ‘other side’ of reality. When we look for Big, we don’t see it. When we look for small, we do. Many people are looking for Life, hungry for it, searching for it. Many people are looking for a purpose, for a meaning of things - hungry for it, searching for it. Many people are looking for love - hungry for it, searching for it. The pattern is the same.
Nor will we find much meaning in the ‘Big’ness of the the Holidays - these two plus months of mania and/or depression.
Look for the small. Perhaps, pausing to enjoy the face of a child, sharing cookies with a neighbor, saying hello to a stranger, spending a few minutes looking at something small that’s beautiful or interesting. For me it can be the midnight service on Christmas Eve at my local parish church. The commercial world has completed its work. All that’s left is a deep and holy silence. Or it’s the joy of feeding my kids on Christmas morning. Or perhaps wishing a Merry Christmas to the cashier at the Mobil Oil station. Or any random mini-moments of ‘light.’
The list can go on and on. I recall as a child and a youth, the many stories my parents read us, taught this secret: The real Christmas is in the small person to person matters, the ‘little miracles’ in the small places, with small people (as the world sees).
Yes, the light comes in through small cracks, into the small places of life. That’s my best sense of these Festivals we have, by which to prepare for the long Winter ahead, which in time leads to Spring. To finish out in a right and holy way this year that is passing, and prepare us for the New one ahead.
Your best article yet.... I love that “small” song ‘Silent Night’ when the candles are lit and our family is all together at church...
My “small world” seems a little less insignificant and the “big, bad world” a little less scary ~ thanks, Bill!
I was just talking about this with someone special this morning. I am looking forward to the gift of having my friends and family “present” with me during the holiday season. Hoping you will be one of those present after the Holiday Pops concert my friend! Hugs...
Much Truth. Reminds me of Dr. Seuss. :)(...but in your own distinct way, of course.)
PS The second captcha word I have to type in below is “difficult.” Lol.
Still and silent night
I always take a few quiet moments alone, exit our family festivities and sit outside alone (in California)...this is my gift to myself. There is nothing like feeling the cool air, smelling firewood burn from a distance and watching the twinkle of holiday lights with only the sound of an occasional breeze to break the silence on Christmas Eve. This is where I go to experience and appreciate the true gift of the season. Such a “small” moment has never been noticed by others, but it is the biggest Christmas experience for me :-) I look forward to another Silent night.
If I could condense this I would use it as our Christmas greeting. I’m always proud of your newsletter – but this one really hits home. Thank you!
I do love the feelings that go from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet, upon lighting those small candles on Christmas Eve, at church. I will never forget the first time. Thank you for this newsletter Bill.
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